I went to a frat party last night.
As I was there, half my mind was on a blog I wanted to write (I know, sad. Don't judge me :P). This is a blog about drinking, pre-gaming, campus safety, alcohol poisoning, being sober, parties, grinding, and how to navigate it all. I am not here to tell you not to drink or party or grind. I'm not here to tell you TO drink or party or grind. No, I am just going to give you information, and let you draw your own conclusions. Each person will live their lives differently in college, and that's okay.
So, I decided I would go to the Sigma Nu party. They weren't serving alcohol and there was going to be a DJ. It sounded like fun. I put on my make-up, a cute little top, and went out with my friends. And overall, the night was a lot of fun. I danced, I laughed, I felt all pretty and dressed up. And even though the fire alarm went off and we decided to come back around 12:30, it was still a good night.
I'm sharing my own experience because I want to dispel all the rumors of college partying, such as:
1) All people drink, or the party is centered around drinking
Not necessarily. Drinking does happen. Sometimes it's excessive and sometimes it's light/social. If you don't want to drink, you should never feel pressured to do so. Surround yourself with other sober, fun people. The girls I went with didn't drink a drop of alcohol, and we had fun. If you do want to drink some in college, then there are some important points to keep in mind:
-Have a solid plan of getting home, or keeping safe. Many count on a person, known as the Sober Friend (I myself have offered to be the sober friend that they can call). Also, have Campus Safety's number. Their first job is to get you HOME safe and sound. Rape, sexual assault, and other negative side affects of alcohol can happen, so have a plan to keep safe. One of my suite mates wears heels when she doesn't want to drink too much, as a safeguard, for example (she wants to still be able to walk in them, so it stops her from drinking too much).
-Be aware of alcohol poisoning. Someone I know had to go to the hospital during orientation to get their stomach pumped. Because their room mate and RA knew the signs of alcohol poisoning, the two of them SAVED the person's life. Here are the symptoms to look for http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/alcohol-poisoning/DS00861/DSECTION=symptoms. If you suspect someone you know is sick, or might have alcohol poisoning, contact your RA/Campus Safety as well as 911. You don't want someone to die because of being passive.
-Try to moderate your drinking, or at least try to avoid drinking excessive amounts of alcohol throughout the week. Alcohol dependence is a very real thing, and it would suck to go to rehab (which happened for a few Knox kids last year) or develop alcoholism before you're even legally ALLOWED to drink.
2) I have to grind at parties
Again, not necessarily. Does grinding happen? Yes, a whole hell lot of it. Imagine a Uni dance, without Kovacs, and you can guess how much grinding happens. I personally don't like grinding because I think it's like having vertical sex. As a dancer, I much prefer enjoying the beat of the music and being an individual. Some others just might not like grinding. If you do like grinding, then remember to use your common sense. If you feel uncomfortable with the person you're dancing with, or you feel like it might be heading towards sexual assault or "unwanted touching" (please, hold your snickers), then feel feel to push them away, or get a friend or a big dude to help you out. If you are a guy and feel awkward, then push them away and let the crowd create space for you. Remember, you have a voice, so say NO if you mean NO. You can enjoy dancing without grinding or with grinding. It's your choice, remember that. Also, be prepared for some third wheeling. I was dancing, and a couple was grinding behind me, and they were getting into it. So much so, they kept backing up into me. So. Awkward.
3) I have to go to parties
NO YOU DON'T. While the pressures of Greek life will vary from college to college, you never have to go to a party if you don't want to. The beauty of college is there is so much to do! If you like writing or books, find literary clubs. If you like volunteering, join volunteer opportunities/social action clubs. If you like sports, join intramurals. My point is, if you don't want to party, find like-minded people. Not all college students want to party. Similarly, if you want to party light or party sober, there will be people like that too. My friends like to dance and be social and dress up, but not drinking and grinding. It takes all types to make a college. There will be people who drink and party and grind and have lots of sex. There will be people who never go out, never really make friends, who never date, and graduate anonymously. Those are the two extremes, and almost everyone will fall in between them.
Quick Descriptions/Thoughts:
-Pre-gaming is the act of drinking before going to a party, or drinking so you arrive buzzed. Often times, those who pre-game plan to drink more later on. If you join pre-gaming activities, make sure you know your limits. If you are a lightweight, try to avoid pre-gaming.
-Never leave your drink unattended if you can. I'm not going to write a college horror story, but bad things can happen. Drugs or alcohol can be slipped in your drink. Please be safe. Hold onto it. If you need to go to the bathroom or something short-term, have a trusted individual hold it. If you want to go dance, go ahead and throw your drink out or gulp it. It's better to waste it or to not savor it than to open yourself up to something dangerous.
-Many people concentrate on the drinking aspect of frat parties, but drugs can play a role too. There was definitely a few people high at last night's party. I won't stand here and tell you not to do drugs. I hope you won't do drugs. Generally, pot and mild drugs aren't bad unless they are hindering your everyday function (going to class, completing homework, honoring promises). Usually though, it's best to stay away from drugs. Last night their was a high guy who kept dancing nearer and nearer to us, backing us to a corner. Finally, my friend Odessa and I went to get a drink. Really, we were escaping the creepy high guy. If you feel uncomfortable, again, just move, push them away, or pull a friend or a big guy over to help you out. Just like alcohol, people react differently to drugs, so be careful.
I hope you didn't think any of this was a lecture. Really, I want all of you to go out and have fun in college. If you want to rush a sorority or fraternity, THAT'S OKAY. If you never want to step foot in a Greek house, THAT'S OKAY TOO. Just be smart, have common sense, create a network of support (campus safety, RAs, sober friends), and know that you have the power of choice. You can say yes or no to anything when it comes to yourself and what you're comfortable with.
Much Love,
Celinda :]
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