When Uni kids apply and get into college, the excitement is at an all time high. You're leaving Uni! You're buying comforters and fridges! You are moving in! You get to be an adult!
With all this excitement, it's hard to talk about the unspeakables, the bad things that can happen in college. I am not making this blog to deflate your growing excitement. By all means! Throw confetti in the air because WOAH guys, you're all going to a college, gap year, or other option that going to change you in beautiful and amazing ways! No, I am writing this blog because it's important to be prepared for the darker parts of college. I want you all to have the tools to be prepared, because sometimes being in college can be overwhelming, heartbreaking, emotionally draining, and in rare cases, dangerous. So, bear with me and here we go!
1) Depression and Mental Illnesses
It's something that is not talked about enough. Depression and other mental illnesses, most notably anxiety issues, are on the rise for college students. There are a number of reasons for this, which NPR I think gives a nice overview of here: http://www.npr.org/2011/01/17/132934543/depression-on-the-rise-in-college-students. Basically though, the stresses of a new town, new people, new classes, new levels of responsibility, new levels of caring for oneself, new pressures, and new expectations often overwhelm students. If a student was already at risk for depression and anxiety, college can exacerbate the situation. Unfortunately, mental health facilities and resources can be understaffed and overworked.
If you ever feel worried that sad, hopeless, or lethargic feelings are persistent, whether for yourself or for others, please check out this website: http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/depression-and-college-students/introduction.shtml. It gives information about what depression is, symptoms, and resources for treating it. Never feel like you are alone though. It can be hard, especially the first year, to feel like you can trust or know anyone enough to open up. But I can guarantee that you are LOVED and that people would be grieved to lose you, lest you do something to yourself. Your RA or an adviser would be the best person to talk to first. Asking for help if a sign of strength, not weakness. I also highly recommend To Write Love On Her Arm, an amazing support group for depressed and suicidal people, as well as concerned and supportive people http://www.twloha.com/
2) Stress, or Burnout
Even if you are not depressed or suffering from anxiety, college is so STRESSFUL and OVERWHELMING sometimes. This week, I had to coach myself to get out of bed. Suddenly, all the clubs and classes that I am in don't seem to matter all that much. It's really bad because I am involved with a lot of volunteering things, which should inspire and strengthen you while you make a difference. Right now, they just seem to be unfortunate annoyances. I keep wishing it was Saturday night, because I will get to just sleep or read. When you feel stressed or overwhelmed, there are many different ways to deal with it. You can cut one thing out of your life, so you have more time for sleep and chilling out. You can exercise or take a walk. You can eat something wholesome and happy, like fruit. Eat some chocolate (but not too much, cause sweets can just make you feel worse). You can just say "Screw it!" and go to bed earlier. Listen to music, write a story, read a book, talk it out.
Sometimes, there isn't time to give yourself a little R&R. I understand. This week, I just wanted to curl into my bed and never leave. On Monday, when I was in Champaign, I looked at my friends with a heartbroken face, silently pleading for them not to make me go back to Knox. When faced with things that need to get done but no strength to move on, I challenge you to reach DEEP inside yourself. You can do it. You can do it. YOU CAN DO IT. Inside all of us, I think there is an emergency storage of energy and passion that helps us pull through somehow. We use it during finals. Soldiers use it in the heat of the battle. There is something in us, and I am not being religious. Spiritual maybe, but really, think about it. Think about some of the truly amazing things you pulled yourself through. So, when you're stressed and overwhelmed, know that you are not the only one who feels that way, and pull through. Because eventually, it ends, even if only for a short while.
3) Dramas
For a person that says she loves people, I feel like I say "I hate people!" quite a lot lol. It happens though. People are not completely compatible, especially the first year in college when you're still trying to understand people. So, what to do when suddenly it seems like all your friends are on crazy pills, or your best guy...dude (what do you call each other??) steals your crush, or you find yourself in a he said/she said crisis??
Well, you pause. That's what you do first. You pause. Because gossip and drama are transmitted without thought or care. It's the out of control snowball careening down the hill. It can cause a big ole mess at the bottom of said hill, or when the crap hits the fan. So, first things first? PAUSE. STOP. THINK.
How true is it? How would they feel if this continues? Maybe you should talk to them instead of the world? How do you talk to them? How does it all make you feel?
Basically, think about how if you feed the drama, it will affect you and everyone around you. So pause. Then, talk to them. If you aren't ready for that, call a parent or friend that DOES NOT GO TO YOUR SCHOOL. Think about good old Uni and the speed of drama. Add really adult situations, and it can get sticky, headachy, and crazy real fast. Know that drama and gossip will happen in your four years at college (and for the rest of your life, sorry kiddo). But, all dramas end, and often they will seem ridiculous later. Deep breaths :]
4) Roommates
So, how do you deal with roommates? This is different than regular drama because you live with this person. I am not going to give you some sugarcoated picture of college: people will sometimes have to change roommates. Blowups happen. Lines are crossed. People are insulted and hurt. The best way to deal with it is to find within yourself a level of grace and maturity. FOR REALZ. Be mature. Don't badmouth or propagate dramas. What you should do is talk to your RA, because they are your first line of defense. If the problem grows, go to the housing department. Unfortunately, you might have to change roommates. Sometimes, relationships are irreparable.
I had a great roommate. Unfortunately, she had to leave school. It was heartbreaking, and even though I have a double single now, I still miss having that other person's presence. Sometimes, a roommate has to leave. I know three people who have had to leave Knox, at least for the rest of the academic year. It's hard. But, we are lucky to be in the digital age! There are so many ways to keep in contact: Facebook, Twitter, letters, emails, packages, etc. It might seem like you are far apart, but you can decide how far the distance truly is.
Sorry this is so long. And it's only part one? I might not do part two right away. If you have any questions about the topics addressed above, here are some more internet resources.
http://www.webmd.com/balance/stress-management/stress-management-topic-overview
http://www.mindtools.com/pages/main/newMN_TCS.htm
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/burnout_signs_symptoms.htm
http://www.adaa.org/living-with-anxiety/college-students
http://collegecandy.com/2011/03/19/5-common-roommate-problems-and-how-to-deal/
http://www.scholarships.com/resources/campus-life/roommates-and-communal-living/common-roommate-problems/
http://collegelife.about.com/od/livingoncampus/a/roommateproblem.htm
http://www.seventeen.com/college/freshman-15/avoiding-drama
If you want some more personal thoughts on the matters above, don't hesitate to contact me!
Muchos Love,
Celinda
No comments:
Post a Comment